A Personal Comedy Roast All About You
A roast that reads you like a receipt. Picks apart your personality. Nails the stuff you hide. Makes you send it to everyone.
"How does it KNOW that?"
Takes 1 minute
How It Works
Your Name
First and last. That's all Bernie needs.
Your Birthday
Month, day, year. Don't ask why. Just trust the process.
Get Roasted
Bernie does his thing. Under a minute.
Your Name
First and last.
That's how Bernie finds you.
Your Birthday
Month, day, year.
Don't ask why. Just trust the process.
Get Roasted
Bernie delivers your personalized
roast in under a minute.
No quizzes. No social media. No personality tests. Just your name and birthday.
A Roast That Hits Different
Bernie roasts you hard. Then reminds you why you're actually great.
The Roast
Brutally honest
The things you do that you think nobody notices? He notices. The patterns you pretend aren't patterns? He sees them.
The Landing
Surprisingly kind
Bernie also sees what makes you shine. The stuff you don't give yourself credit for. You'll finish feeling seen, not destroyed.
"I don't roast people. I just say what everyone's thinking but too polite to mention."
Nobody knows exactly where Bernie came from. He prefers it that way.
Who is Bernie?Questions We Get Asked
"Is this going to be mean?"
Bernie's going to be accurate, which sometimes feels mean. But he always ends with what makes you good. You'll laugh, you might wince, and you'll walk away feeling weirdly seen.
"How is Bernie so accurate?"
That's Bernie's secret. Just trust that it works. You'll see.
"Is this AI-generated?"
Bernie does his thing. We don't ask questions. The result feels like it was written by someone who knows you. Because in a weird way, he does.
"What information do you need?"
Just your name and birthday. That's it. No social media stalking, no quizzes, no personality tests. Bernie doesn't need them.
"What if I don't like it?"
If your roast doesn't land, full refund. 90 days. No questions. But that basically never happens. Bernie's good at his job.
"Can I share it?"
You're going to WANT to. It comes with shareable images perfect for your stories. Film your reaction — those videos do numbers.
Still Here?
You're either curious or scared. Probably both.
Bernie's waiting. He already knows.
Fine. Roast Me.$7.77•Instant delivery•Money-back guarantee